Your boss is on you about an overdue report. The kids are driving you up the wall. Your needy sister just called begging for another loan for her latest “emergency.” Despite your best New Year’s resolutions, you’ve put on five pounds and your clothes are too snug for comfort. The laundry’s piled up, bills overdue, and your house looks like a tornado hit it. Add to that the fact that you keep getting some annoying telemarketing calls just when you’re ready to sit down to dinner. Sound familiar?
Meeting your pals for a few drinks or knocking back some quick shots at home sounds like just the right tonic to banish stress, right? Wrong. Drinking won’t solve any of your problems and it certainly won’t decrease your stress level. You need more appropriate ways to de-stress without drinking. Here are some suggestions.
Create a List of Alternatives
Before you find yourself in the position of thinking about how stressed you are and wanting a drink, take the time to write out a list of healthier alternatives. Like any other activity that requires planning, having a list of desirable activities to engage in, and more than one to choose, will give you a feeling of empowerment. You could do A or B or C – and not be locked into a by-now, all-too-familiar way of managing stress. Just knowing you have alternatives can be very liberating. You’ll actually get quite good at this practice, once you begin doing it. What are some alternatives? They can be anything, but try some of these to get started.
Get Involved in a Hobby
There’s nothing like getting lost in a hobby. What you decide to do doesn’t matter as long as it’s something that you enjoy. You’ll find yourself totally immersed in the art and craft of the hobby and time will just slip away. Beyond being absorbed in what you’re doing, you’ll discover that the stress that nearly consumed you before has simply vanished. You’ll breathe easier, feel less aches and pains, and your mind will be free of tangled thoughts and upsetting emotions.
Some people find immense relief from stress – and great enjoyment – working with their hands. Woodworking, gardening, painting, jewelry making, pottery, sculpture and cooking are a few ideas, but there are many more.
Collecting is another hobby that many people swear by. Collecting runs the gamut from trains, dolls, toy soldiers, old garden implements, roadside signs and advertising memorabilia, to rare books, thimbles, embroidery, Kachina dolls, one-of-a-kind art pieces, and much more.
Master Games
Perhaps you prefer activities that engage your intelligence more. You might consider learning how to play chess or other complicated board games. It isn’t only grandmothers that sit glued to the TV when Jeopardy, America’s number one quiz show, and Wheel of Fortune, the number one game show, comes on. Challenging your mind to find the answers leaves little room for those nagging thoughts urging you to go get a drink. And, while your mind is otherwise occupied, your stress levels are rapidly diminishing.
Increase Recreational Activities
Instead of meeting friends for a drink on Friday nights after work, how about getting involved in recreational activities? If these are good friends, they might be tired of the same old bar scene and may very well relish the opportunity to do something different. If you think they might not want to stick with it, however, you can always find new friends when you take up your new activity.
What should you consider? Again, there are no limits to what you can do. Just be sure that you’re physically fit enough to participate in whatever you choose, and, if you need training, be sure to get it – before you launch into the sport. Some suggestions for winter include downhill or cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, tobogganing, snowmobiling, ice skating and sledding. Summertime recreational activities include golf, hiking, mountain biking, baseball, and climbing. Tennis, racquetball, basketball, swimming, floor hockey, and rock wall climbing can be done anytime using indoor sports venues.
Get Out and Exercise
But you don’t need to have a regular sports date to gain the benefits from exercise. Instead of reaching for a drink to decrease your stress, get out of the house or office and go for a brisk walk. About 30 minutes to one hour, four times a week will do the trick. If the weather is inclement, do your power walk at the local mall. You can do a few errands and get your exercise in, all in the same trip.
You can also join a gym or do your workout in the comfort of your own home. Get some stretching bands, exercise ball, some light hand weights and a couple of books or DVDs and CDs of instruction, and go for it. Join a Pilate’s mat class or learn yoga. Once you put your mind to it, you’ll find many ways to get involved in physical exercise.
What you’ll net from this is increased cardiovascular health, lower blood pressure (which reduces stress), better digestion, and improved emotional and mental outlook. You’ll probably also tone and firm your muscles and you may even drop those unwanted pounds. At any rate, you’ll have a healthier appetite and really enjoy good home-cooked meals again – even if you’re the one cooking them.
Try Out New Restaurants
If you have a group of close friends who like to eat out, why not make your alternative to drinking a visit to a different restaurant each week? Besides checking out new restaurants that open in town, you could also have discussions of what’s best at each location, rating the décor, the service, the quality of food and presentation.
When you go to the restaurants, avoid being seated anywhere near the bar. And turn down any alcohol before, during or after your meals. The idea is to enjoy your food and not dull your senses with alcohol.
Make it a Coffee House Visit
Instead of a bar, how about meeting your pals – or making new ones – at a favorite coffee house? It doesn’t have to be Starbucks, either. There are plenty of other espresso places to choose from, each with their own personalities. Besides the big names, there are local coffee houses that may be more to your liking.
Having good conversation with friends in a cozy coffee house sounds really inviting, doesn’t it? Think how welcoming the smell of freshly baked pastries and the rich aroma of roasted coffee beans can be on a cold, crisp morning – or at the end of a stress-filled day.
Read a Good Book
Whether your reading taste runs from mysteries to romance, true crime to adventure tales, fantasy to suspense or horror, you can always transport yourself to new worlds by immersing yourself in a good book.
If spending money on books doesn’t appeal to you, join your community library and read them for free. You can also get great buys on used books through eBay and Amazon, as well as Border’s and Barnes and Noble. Sign up for e-coupons from the retailers with brick-and-mortar stores as well as online presence and you can get even greater discounts. Watch the weekly best-seller lists and select the books that most appeal to you.
Once you’re finished with books you purchased, consider donating them to the local library. You could also sell them online (see the same sites mentioned earlier).
When you find a particular author you really like, check out all the other books by that person. You’ll have a ready-made list of titles to keep you engaged for quite a time.
The best part about reading is that your stress will evaporate. If you don’t believe it, try it.
Try Meditation
What is stress but a build-up of unwanted negative thoughts, a drumbeat of your mind telling you that you have to do this or you didn’t do that, lack of time, lack of energy, lack of enthusiasm, and so on? You need to combat these thoughts and emotions and situations before they can do physical and emotional damage.
For many individuals, meditation is an easy and inexpensive way to lift them out of stress. How does it work? Meditation helps bring about a state tranquility and relaxation in the mind. It also produces a sense of calmness, peace and emotional stability. While you are doing the various postures, practicing the regulated breathing, your mind is wiping clean all the clutter of jumbled thoughts.
Meditation helps you to become more self-aware. You need self-awareness in order to concentrate on the sound and the rhythm of your breathing. Focus on the moment that’s here and now – not on the massive to-do list you’ve been carrying around in your head.
There are numerous books, CDs and DVDs on how to meditate, as well as instructive classes available at health clubs, community colleges and private lessons.
Once you learn how to meditate, you can do it anywhere, anytime you feel stress. Just take five minutes and do your breathing and self-awareness. The benefits you achieve from meditation have a long-lasting effect. The more you do it, the better results you can obtain. As a stress reliever, you can’t beat meditation.
Take Time for Yourself
Everyone gets caught up in the necessary chores and errands that life entails. For parents, especially single parents, the mountain of must-dos seems so daunting at times that a drink often looks like the perfect answer. Sometimes, what we fail to realize is that we are pushing ourselves beyond our limits. By trying to please everyone around us, we are neglecting our own well being in the process. One way to solve this is not by picking up a drink, but in taking time for you.
It could be an hour or two on the week-end, or every Saturday morning, or Wednesday night – or whatever. Maybe it’s after the dinner dishes are done and before the favorite family TV program or after the kids have gone to bed. Perhaps you need time away from the house and your wife and kids, or husband and kids, or time away from Mom and Dad. But you do need to have your own alone time. Don’t allow any distractions to deter you from taking this much-needed time for whatever it is that you want to do.
The result of taking time for you is that you are better prepared to deal with things that may have been insurmountable before. You are more refreshed, more relaxed and more clear-headed.
Everything in its Place
Remember your mother’s old expression, “There’s a time for everything, and everything in its place.” Take a look around your home, home office, or even at the office. Are things piled up all over – reports and files intermixed and in no recognizable order, magazines stacked precariously, dirty laundry or tennis shoes sitting in mounds, bills littering the table, coats, sweaters and jackets strewn about? No wonder you feel stress. You can do something about it and get rid of stress at the same time.
Start in one corner of your desk or room, if that will make the task easier. Take things in small bunches, rather than all at once. And when that section is cleaned up, don’t permit any pile-up to occur again. The idea is to gradually set to right the entire room, house or office area. When it’s all neatly arranged, cleaned, vacuumed, polished and smelling great, you’ve not only created a serene environment but you’ve also banished a great deal of stress that came from just looking at the mess.
What thoughts come to mind when you see a photograph of a home’s interior in a home decorating magazine? The intent is to create a sense of peace and serenity. How it’s accomplished is to carefully and strategically place everything – furniture, objects, curtains, pictures and rugs. Less is more. The eye tends to glaze over if there’s too much to take in. Simpler is better than complex. You can accomplish the same result in your own surroundings.
You’ll also eliminate a lot of stress in the process.
Final Thoughts
Recognize, of course, that it’s a whole lot easier to pre-plan how you’ll spend your time when you’re super-stressed than if you try to deal with it on the spur of the moment. Make your list of alternative activities and carry it with you. This will give you ready-made strategies to employ instead of resorting to tipping the bottle or pounding down beer, wine or cocktails to ease your frazzled mind.
Healthier behaviors, once adopted, become easier and easier to employ. In no time at all, you’ll forget that you ever thought the best way to forget about your troubles is to spend your Friday night (or any time) drinking with your friends.
Be a trend-setter. Start a new and more constructive group dedicated to positive ways to de-stress your life – and do it without a drop of alcohol. Your life will be richer and more fulfilled, and so will the lives of your friends.
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